My God is your God
by fire phoenixia
Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend, a ghost of his self sacrificing teacher or Kyuubi the ninetailed fox, but a person he can respect and love. Dear Kami Sama... My name is Naruto
1. 01: Weakness and Strength  In his eyes

* * *

**My God is your God**

* * *

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto – totally. 

Main Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi

Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend or a ghost of his self-sacrificing teacher, but a person he can respect and love.

Author note: This is my first piece of fanfiction. I don't expect anyone to go easy on me, but I certainly don't expect flames – which will be totally ignored. This idea/plot was bubbling in my head for quite some time and with a little push from my best friends, I decided to put it down in words. Japanese romaji translation (with the exception of names) will be at the bottom of the page. Also, if you are new to the Naruto world and do not know how Hatake Kakashi got his left eye, I suggest that you learn more about it before reading this (because this story assumes that you do know about Kakashi Gaiden). So, enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter 01: Weakness And Strength – In His Eyes**

* * *

Kakashi was weak, and he knew it. Even though he was supposedly the great copy-nin that was known throughout the five great shinobi countries, he was weak.

But he did not mind, because many shinobi were as inadequate as him. That is, until he met Uzumaki Naruto.

Uzumaki Naruto brought him both pain and pleasure. Pleasure as he saw his loved ones that he would never see again in Naruto – dragging up memories he thought were long lost.

_And because Naruto's smile was just so darn warm - it never failed to remind him that he was alive and not just a weapon... The screams still echoed in his head… _

Pain because Naruto was so much like the ghosts who haunted him - his wonderful, strong sensei, the Yondaime and his beloved friend Obito. Every time he looked at him, a sudden, sharp pain shot through his heart, tearing open scars that should have closed by now.

If he was to describe it, which he would probably never (a ninja's life was lonely, and as one of those few that had made it into jounin, his was even more so), it was like chakra exhaustion combined with having your right arm crushed. Chakra exhaustion because it was the most annoying syndrome a ninja could get (in his opinion). The opponent did not have to attack or injure him. All that the enemy needed to do was to manipulate him into burning all his chakra and he was left useless for days. It was not so bad if he was in a safe place, like Konoha, where he could stay and be pampered in the hospital, reading his books in peace. But to get that maddening syndrome during missions was the pits.

Because then he was a liability and liabilities caused their teammates to die.

_Although mostly he could not stand it because it was in essence waiting for death to bring him to hell. And he did not want to die – not just yet._

_Not when the one with Obito's smile and Sensei's looks was still around._

And then there was the crushed arm. That particular incident happened just after Obito's death. He had been particularly reckless then. Sensei, Rin (his other teammate that transferred Obito's eye to him) and a random chunnin that name and face still escaped him were his partners; his teammates for the mission – scouting for Iwa nins.

They had started early in the morning, Kakashi missing Obito immediately, used as he was to his dear friend's extremely late arrivals and even more unbelievable excuses. (Honestly, how could one get lost on the road of life? It was a one-way road!)

Memories of Obito had caused him to respond sardonically to the random chunnin's statement on hoping to be swiftly assimilated into group dynamics. His remark had then set off a chain reaction consisting of Sensei and Rin glancing at him throughout the course of the mission, hints of worry burning in their eyes. Tension was high and Kakashi found his right hand, his dominant hand, periodically hovering over his Kunai bag and his muscles tense in anger and worry.

Nothing major happened during the course of the mission and all of them were tired and annoyed, tempers flaring ever so often. However, on the way back, they were taken via surprise by several Iwa nins. He threw himself in the battle recklessly, kunai flashing and chakra flaring. Sensei was wiping the floor with his enemies and Kakashi had to admit grudgingly that the random chunnin was holding his own. Rin, however, as a medical nin, was not faring very well even against these weak ninjas (they were pathetically inadequate in his view).

He growled, distracted and incensed, inadvertently leaving an opening in the midst of battle. What happened next he was not very sure. But he remembered red-hot pain that never seemed to cease to burn and a high-pitched scream that spoke of hurt, misery and fear which still gave him nightmares even now.

It was only later in the hospital, with his arm throbbing in pain, that he found out from Sensei that the Iwa nin had obviously taken advantage of his distraction and crushed his arm with a simple, basic rock jutsu.

And the one that had screamed with so much hurt was he himself.

_Obito had not made any noise louder than a murmur after the rocks had fell. Maybe it was the fact that the rocks had crushed his lungs… but still…_

Sensei's face was pale with what Kakashi supposed was worry and weariness. He did not really care at that moment. All he wanted to do was sleep – sleep all the pain away. Sleep all the memories that hurt away. Sleep and forget that Obito had died the same way that he was hurt in. Sleep and forget that even in death, Obito was stronger than him – no matter what others said.

The last thing that he heard before sleep drew him away was " –shi-kun. Your right arm, you might have to quit, I mean, you have to qu-"

That was how he became left-handed.

* * *

And of course, Chakra exhaustion could only be healed with time – like wounds of the heart.

His right arm still throbbed, acted up and teared open easily – like that particular place in the remains of his non-existent heart.

_The reason why his sole original attack – the Raikiri, could only be done one-handed -with his left arm._

Moreover, the feeling of helplessness – the inability to fight for his fallen comrades or even those still with him was exactly the same. He betrayed them, because his body did so and his body was in essence, part of him.

He hated it.

* * *

Naruto never did cry out in pain – just like Obito.

_And so much unlike he himself._

Kakashi always stood from afar and watched as they hurt him, never helping but never hurting either. It was sort of like a repayment. He would not hurt Naruto – the boy who was to him Obito and Sensei at the same time, but for dredging up memories better lost and more importantly taking his beloved sensei, he would never help.

Naruto was invisible and Naruto was not heard. At least they would not hurt him for "getting special treatment". This was probably for the best.

_But for whom? Me? Or him?_

He closed his eyes, never seeing the blue eyes cloud over in pain.

He covered his ears, never hearing the taunts and mocking.

He shut his heart, praying fervently that it would stop (even if he was an atheist). Sometimes he grinned silently to himself. He probably wanted it to stop more than the boy. _Ironic._

* * *

And so, Kakashi watched.

Naruto grew and grew. At first he cried – a lot.

_A crybaby just like Obito._

Then he prayed – a lot.

He also smiled some then – little smiles that made him seem as if he knew something no one else did. But he still cried lots.

Still, Kakashi never could stand it when they cried.

_Was it Naruto's sobs or Obito's bawling that he was hearing?_

Hence, once, after a couple of boys (they were forever boys in his eyes), perhaps one or two years younger than Kakashi, left after taunting and hurting the sniveling brat, he stepped out of the shadows and stood over the quietly crying boy.

At least he was not sobbing outright.

However, the teenager still did not know what to do. So he did what he did the best – watch.

_Even if he had shut his eyes when they broke his wrist._

After a while, Naruto peered up at Kakashi, eyes red-rimmed although he was utterly silent. They stared at each other for some time. It would have been nerve wrecking if not for the fact that Kakashi was more then well versed in interrogation.

Naruto had then asked, "Are you going to hurt me?"

Kakashi shook his head silently.

_Pretend. Pretend he is not there. Cover your ears._

The blond haired boy smiled. The smile started as a tiny curve of the mouth, but soon it became a full-blown grin.

_Just like Obito._

The words accidentally slipped out. " You look nice with that smile."

"Really? Really? You think I'm nice with this smile?" his eyes were bright, even if he was still favoring his left side.

Kakashi's eyes were dull as he glanced at the boy cradle his limp wrist while grinning like an idiot.

_Shut it. Shut it. Lock it and throw away the key._

The teenager with the white hair vanished into the darkness of the night.

And finally, Naruto smiled – a lot.

* * *

**

* * *

**

**List of Japanese Romaji**

Chakra – a mixture of energy present in cells of the body and spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience. They can be used for Jutsu.

Chunnin – ninja who are qualified to watch over and guide other ninja. One of the three official ranks of ninjas.

Genjutsu – techniques that uses the chakra in the victim's body to create illusions.

Iwa nins –ninja from the village of Iwagakure.

Jounin – one of the three official ranks as a ninja. Jounins are highly experienced ninjas with excellent personal skills.

Jutsu – a technique or skill that an ordinary human would likely be unable to imitate.

Kunai –a multi-purpose Japanese knife. Can be used for throwing, stabbing or even climbing.

Nin – short form of ninja

Ninja – a skilled "soldier", trained in Ninjutsu, Taijutsu and Genjutsu for high-risk, stealth and clandestine missions. Their roles include sabotage, espionage, scouting, assassination and guerilla warfare.

Ninjutsu –a vague term that refers to almost any technique that uses chakra, has "real" effects and allows the user to do something that he otherwise would be unable to.

Raikiri –Hatake Kakashi's sole original attack. Blue and electric like.

Shinobi – another name for ninjas, usually male.

Sensei – teacher

Taijutsu –any techniques involving martial arts or the use of natural human abilities in general.

Yondaime – the fourth hokage (leader) of the village of Konohagakure.

* * *


	2. Interlude: Are you a weed?

* * *

My God is your God

* * *

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto – totally. 

Main Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi

Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend or a ghost of his self-sacrificing teacher, but a person he can respect and love.

To Omni-chan: Thanks for a review and favorite. You really made my day. Please keep reviewing!

Author note: In this scene, there's no Kakashi at all… Whoops. I haven't written the next chapter yet too… 'Cause I have no motivation… I need reviews people! Reviews! Anyway, if you have even bothered to read this, Naruto should be younger than 5 here. He certainly has not seen Kakashi at all. Also, you might notice that this interlude seems kind of fluffy. Lets just say that I could not make children seem dark and angst-like.

Oh, and thanks to Cheysuli-Night, I'm not telling and aura183 for putting **My God is your God** on your story alert list.

* * *

Interlude: Are you a weed?

* * *

It was raining. 

Water dripped down from the tiled, slanted roofs and landed with a soft pitter-patter on the ground.

The street was silent, with an occasional twitch of curtains where small, sweet faces peeked out, noses pressed against the glass in eagerness only to find that it was still raining.

They would have liked to go out and dance in the rain, soaking in the cool wetness and splashing each other, but, every time it rained, that strange boy with the blue eyes and who never smiled would be sitting on the swing that nobody touched.

He was there on sunny days too, but on sunny days, the older boys would be there and it was easier to ignore him.

_After all, their parents did not like him too. _

Like what was said before, he was strange, with those scars on his cheeks, hair like the sun and eyes like the sky.

_Although they had never seen such a pretty blue seem so sad._

His eyes seemed cloudy all the time and the only time they saw the pretty eyes clear slightly was during the first and only time they approached him.

* * *

It was a sunny day then. 

Most of the Konoha kids had gathered in the central playground, which was located a few blocks away from the Ninja academy. School was over for the day and quite a few of the first and second year students were fooling around in the playground.

They had, after all, one more year to go before they had to buck up and graduate.

The older boys, mostly academy students, were playing soccer, laughing and calling out to others. Some of the students had brought their school issued wooden kunai and shuriken set with them and were unsuccessfully trying to show the children that had not entered the Ninja Academy how to properly throw the weapons.

The child with the cloudy blue eyes however, was not involved in any of these activities. Not even with some of the girls who were playing " Hide and Seek" or a particular group of boys playing "Ninja".

_I don't understand. Why won't they talk to me?_

He sat on the decrepit swing that by a mutual, silent agreement was his and his alone.

_What's wrong with me? Am I a bad boy?_

A boy with dark hair glanced at him out of the corner of his eyes, nodding and pretending to be impressed with an explanation on how to throw a kunai properly.

_I don't wanna be a bad boy. _

The boy gave up listening and stood up, making his way to the swings.

_Please. Please. _

"Hi. Are you a weed?" the dark-haired boy eyes were bright.

The blond boy's eyes widened.

"Father says that people who are the dregs of society – whatever that meant, are weeds. He says that they are use-use-useless people who trap and strangle everyone else – bad people. Bad people that everyone hates. Father likes to tell us about how Ni-san is going to grow up and era-era-eradi and take away all the weeds." His voice was a little wistful.

Seeing that the other boy was still silent, the older boy continued, " Ni-san says weeds are okay people though. He says that weeds make everyone stronger. But he still thinks that weeds are ugly."

"So? Are you a weed? 'Cause everyone doesn't wanna talk to you." He looked curiously at the boy fidgeting around on the swings.

"I-I-I think…" this said, the whisker-marked kid promptly shut up.

_I am a bad boy after all…_

"So? What do you think? Do you think that you are a weed? Do you think that weeds are ugly? I think, I think that weeds are pretty and really strong! After all, they try so hard to live!" The dark-haired boy grinned and pointed at a dandelion at his foot.

The other boy stared; never noticing more and more kids gathering and gawking at them.

A girl with pale yellow hair suddenly said impetuously " I think weeds are bad. They kill all my pretty flowers. I don't like them."

The older boy scoffed. "Girls."

Out of the blue, a man with broad shoulders came up. "Sasuke-san! We have to leave now!" He gripped the older boy's shoulders.

"Why? I thought Father said I could stay here till 5." Sasuke struggled a little.

_ Don't go! _

"I cannot answer this, Sasuke-san. Please let us leave now." With this, Sasuke was steered away and led home.

Other children gathered near the swings were also swiftly collected with much protest and brought home. There were no goodbyes issued.

_They never went near the child with hair like the sun again._

And that day, before he went home, the blue-eyed child dug up the dandelion and planted it in one of his cups.

* * *

**List of Japanese Romanji**

Konoha – one of the five great shinobi countries. The village of the leaves in the land of fire.

Ni-san - Older brother.

Shuriken –Throwing stars.

* * *


	3. 02: I Don't Want To Be Lonely Anymore

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto – totally.

Main Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi

Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend or a ghost of his self-sacrificing teacher, but a person he can respect and love.

Author's note: I apologise for the lack of updates… I was… busy. Anyway, this chapter sadly does not have Kakashi, but starts to move into the main plot. This chapter is set before Naruto met Kakashi and after he met Sasuke. Also, this chapter is more than a "jumpy" so to speak; you might be a little confused. However, it will all link up in the end. I hope that everyone will enjoy it. Please don't forget to give constructive reviews.

To: green blanket, lanowen, Omni-chan, lioness78, Hannah Uzumaki, Blackmagic34 and lanowen-recommanded, thanks for your reviews.

To all those that put my story on favourite, alert or c2s, thanks too! All of you really made my day.

* * *

Chapter 03: I Don't Want To Be Lonely Anymore

* * *

Naruto ran. 

_Run! Run as fast as you can!_

His breaths came out in puffs, shirt already sticking to his body.

"There he is! You scrawny brat! Come back here!" two men were chasing after him.

Fear shot its way through the young child's eyes as he scampered away as fast as he could.

_You can't catch me._

Scrambling into an alley, he barely managed to make it into an unused cardboard box.

_I can't let you. _

He huddled down, trembling slightly and curling up.

_I can't let you hurt me – she's waiting for me at home._

Footsteps sounded nearby. "Where did he go?" The voice snarled.

"How would I know? We both saw him come here." The footsteps approached. Naruto closed his eyes.

_Because if he could not see them, they weren't there, right?_

The footsteps stopped with a click next to Naruto. His blood ran cold and a few tears leaked out.

It was going to hurt – again.

* * *

"Tadaima Rin-chan." 

The room was utterly silent.

" I'm fine, Rin-chan, there is no need to be sad for me." He stroked the dandelion that he was talking to.

_Don't be sad, because you're the only one who will be – my friend._

"See?" he lifted up his shirt. White scars littered his body, criss-crossing here and there.

"And look! I got some meat too!" Naruto held up a wrapped package, eyes shining slightly.

" What do you mean that I shouldn't have gotten hurt because of that? I'll rather starve to death than eat any of Rin-chan's friends!"

_Because you are just like me. Because I don't want you to be sad._

"Rin-chan's the one who Naruto should say thank you to! Even though Rin-chan knew that becoming Naruto's friend would be lonely, even though Rin-chan knew that she would have to listen to Naruto's noise, even though Rin-chan knew that she was would have to live with a bad boy, Rin-chan still did it." Naruto paused and patted the soil around the plant.

"And that's why I'll love Rin-chan forever and ever!" He bent down and kissed the plant lightly, a sad smile upon his face.

_Even if everyone else hates me._

* * *

Sarutobi was old. 

And he knew that very, very well.

He could feel it in his creaking bones. He could see it in his failing eyesight. He could hear it even if his ninja had to speak louder for him to hear their mission reports. He could believe it in the way it was getting more and more difficult to get out of bed everyday.

But mostly, he could feel it in the way he was starting to question why he became the Hokage to protect the village (other than the paperwork, of course).

_After all, the phrase "old and senile" wasn't invented for naught._

It was true that he still loved the Village Hidden In The Leaves very much. The laughter of the children, the smiles that quirked up in the presence of a loved one – all these was what he tried to protect.

But he was starting to see the village in a different way. And he did not like what he saw.

_Hurt, pain, tears and those blasted blue eyes that never stopped staring at him._

He watched as they hurt an innocent child. He watched as they turned a blind eye Naruto's pain. He watched as they stripped the child of all but sorrow. Because he could only watch.

_Thrice damn the council and curse all who wish harm upon Naruto._

He hated them.

He wanted to rip them apart, to tear into them the same way they did to Naruto. Watch them gasp in pain and betrayal. And after which he wanted to leave their carcasses out for the vultures to find.

But he loved them too.

How could he not? He wanted to hold them close. He wanted to protect them from all harm. Heck, he didn't even want to see the hurt that would cross their faces when he chastised them.

However, he hated himself the most of all.

The part of him that wanted to hurt those who wished pain unto the young Jinchuuriki burned with desire to destroy the love for them. And the fraction of him that loved those people absolutely loathed his hate.

_Absolutely senile._

So, even as an atheist, he prayed really hard that all these would disappear.

_He had enough demons in his head already. There was no need to increase the number._

_At least… at least he won the fight for the Jinchuuriki to attend school._

* * *

The school was built of lightly coloured bamboo. 

Naruto stared silently at the small building where he would learn how to read, write and count, eyes wide with nervousness, clutching his worn school bag tightly. Beside him was the Hokage, smoking his pipe, a contemplative look on his face.

"You'll be all right, Naruto. I'm sure you will make many friends." His hooded eyes were on the five years old boy.

"H…hai." Naruto bit his lips.

"Well then, I'll come and pick you up after school. Is that alright?" The Hokage drew in a deep breath of smoke.

The young child nodded timidly. Sarutobi let out a sigh and stroked the patch of yellow hair, causing Naruto to tilt his head into the contact.

The man then laughed softly and pushed the boy towards the school. " Shoo. Or you might be late."

The blue-eyed child stumbled a few steps forward before he turned around. "A…Arigato…"

"See you later too, Naruto." The Hokage smiled.

* * *

Children make their own rules – in the youth of their innocence. 

But there were some exceptions.

One of which were adult matters.

And that boy – that blue-eyed, yellow haired boy was one of them.

They had approached him once before and were punished because of it.

_They had no wish to be punished again._

So, when their first lesson started and the teacher ignored the boy, they made no notice of it.

_It was just an adult matter after all._

Their lives were already full with letters and numbers, friends and family. There was no place for him.

They saw him only when the teachers did.

_It was just an adult matter after all._

They heard him only when the teacher spoke to him.

_It was just an adult matter after all._

And Naruto could only stare into the clear, blue sky.

_"You'll be all right, Naruto. I'm sure you will make many friends."_

**_Liar._**

* * *

That day, after the deceptively blue sky started crying, school ended. The children poured home with their parents, laughing under the little shelter the umbrellas could provide.

Only Naruto remained.

_"Well then, I'll come and pick you up after school. Is that alright?"_

He never came.

**_Liar. _**

And that was the first time Naruto went home on his own after school.

It was certainly not the last.

* * *

If anyone had asked him what he was doing in the dead of the night on October the 10th, they would have received a timid smile. 

The Hokage had picked him up from his apartment in the morning, just before he left for school.

He was… happy.

Because the old man in the white, white robes said that today was his birthday, said that he wanted to spend it with Naruto.

_He loved those white, pristine robes. They were so different from his off-white t-shirts – so smooth and light and welcoming… and so different from the sharpness of the hospital lights…_

Naruto waited.

He waited in the dimly lit room that the Hokage put him in when the sun was still high in the sky.

_It was dark already._

He was cold and hungry. The chill had seeped into his bones, bringing with it cold stabs of pain in his stomach, much like those he had been having ever since he met Rin-chan.

" Kyuubi, the most fearsome creature of all demons was born out of death, fear and blood. His nine tails crushed villages and caused earthquakes and tsunamis. In the 565th year of Konohagakure's existence, he came, bringing with him death and destruction. The shinobi of Konoha fought bravely against this monster, but to no avail. The siege of the fox lasted for only two weeks, but most of the citizens and shinobi had already lost hope. However, on the 10th of October, the great Yondaime managed to defeat the fiend, albeit at the cost of his life." His voice wavered in the air. The day before, his sensei had informed the entire class of the history behind the Fox festival, making them repeat word for word that particular passage over and over again.

" Konohagakure originally started off as a trading village in the land of fire. It was under the rule of Sunagakure of the land of wind, serving as an alternate base and a good port due to its location and geography. However, due to the first Great Shinobi War, the land of the wind lost much of its power and Konohagakure managed to establish itself as a shinobi village with a 10 year revolution." Regurgitating facts helped keep his mind off the cold.

_And the loneliness._

A loud bang was suddenly heard from outside.

His heart beat a little faster.

**_He didn't lie. He didn't._**

" I refuse. Naruto has a right to attend school. He needs to be educated, just like everybody living in Konoha." Naruto recognised the voice.

" Kyuubi attacked and destroyed our village. You should know. You spent many a night cleaning up the mess and rebuilding the damage."

" That I know. Naruto might be Kyuubi, but he still deserves the right of education." The Hokage sounded tired.

**_Liar._**

" He murdered your wife."

**_Liar._**

" This subject is closed." The warm voice had turned cold.

**_He hates me. He didn't lie._**

* * *

And all was right with the world – because he finally understood that he was Kyuubi.

That night, when Naruto reached home, he recited the passage on the origins of the Fox festival until he fell asleep.

* * *

He found that place on a Saturday. 

It was only after watching several people go in and come out looking relatively happier that he crept in.

In his right hand was a crumpled piece of paper. The Hokage had given it to him.

_Given it to him after he told him that he knew that he was Kyuubi – that particular night. The old man had looked utterly devastated. And he had apologized. For what, Naruto didn't know._

_He only knew that the piece of paper had an address on it._

Inside the building, he watched as a girl kneeled down, closing her eyes and twining her fingers together. He wondered why.

_The wind blew and whispered into his ear – praying. That's called praying._

A golden plaque near a door caught his attention.

He traced the kanji on it with his finger, mouthing the words slowly.

_A place for everyone to come clean._

_Everyone…_

* * *

"I'm Kyuubi." Blue eyes stared into the white space of the room. 

"Ah, I see." The voice was calm.

"Everyone hates me." He bit his lip.

"I know." There was no hatred.

"I killed everyone." Tears threatened to squeeze their way out.

"Of course."

_It was a cold, hard fact. _

"I…I wish that I could be forgiven."

_By someone – anyone. Please! _

"I…I wish that I would never be alone again."

_I'm lonely. Even with Rin-chan. _

" Kami-sama can give you that." There was a moment of silence after that.

"Kami-sama? Is it a kind of canned food?"

" No, silly demon child. He is our master and creator. You are the servant that ran away from; that turned his back towards his lord. Are you, young fiend, willing to return to him?"

"He…wants me?" the voice quavered.

"Of course. Even though you're a child born of evil, he still loves you. Very much." There was a hint of kindness in the priest's voice.

_The first note of kindness he could remember since…_

"Me…me?"

"Yes, you. You will have to work very hard and repent – doing everything that Kami-sama asks of you to gain forgiveness. Like good deeds for example. You have done much sin." His voice was soft, almost gentle.

"Sin? What's sin?" Naruto was eager.

_Someone that will love me. Someone that will never leave me. And…someone that will forgive me. Please – don't take him away now I know that that is someone out there willing to do all that. Please…_

"Bad things, that's what they are. If they're not totally forgiven by our great master, you will never be allowed to reside with; to live with Kami-sama in the great paradise - Heaven, after Earthly life - this life. Sprite of the fox, it will be more than likely that you will never clear your debts, because of what you are."

"What do I have to do, Priest-sama?" his voice was shaky and unsure.

"For now, young imp, believe in our Lord. Believe that he will never leave you; never forsake you, even though you're a demon. Talk to him; tell him everything – all your sins, all your fears and all your joy. Tell him that you want to return to his light and ask him, our exalted Lord, what he wants you to do." He commanded.

"How do I do that?" Naruto asked.

"You pray."

And so, Naruto prayed.

* * *

_Dear Kami-sama._

He prayed and prayed, kneeling like he'd seen others in this place do.

_My name is Naruto. I don't know how to pray. You're probably very busy. But…please…please listen to me._

Relief, like his tears, poured down his face.

_I'm…I'm not just a bad boy; I'm a demon – Kyuubi. I've killed many, many people. And I've hurt a lot more people – not just on the outside, but where it hurts the most – the inside._

The priest watched hidden, gaze sure and steady.

_The priest said that I could return to you if I wanted to._

Hands were tightly clasped together, eyes squeezed shut.

_I want to. Can I?_

He mouthed the words slowly, never noticing the eyes upon him.

_I'm…I'm really happy that you'll never leave me. I'll do anything for you. Promise._

Because he had eyes only for God at this point.

_I know…I know that I won't be able to do enough good things to be forgiven enough to live with you in that place priest-sama just told me about – Heaven._

_But that's okay._

_'Cause…'cause I'm so glad that you can be my friend! Even if that wasn't what priest-sama said, I'm sure that was what he meant as well! Rin-chan's my friend too. You might not remember her, but Rin-chan's a weed._

_**Just like me. **_

_Rin-chan gets sad when I eat fruits and veggies, so I don't eat them. Sometimes my stomach hurts, but that's okay._

_Rin-chan's my friend, so I'll do it for her._

_Umm…I hope that you won't ask me to eat other plants, 'cause then I'll hurt Rin-chan, but if you really want me to do so, I'll do it._

The wind whispered in his ears.

_I…I know that I'm 'pose to ask you what you want me to do, but if I could, can I serve you as a priest like priest-sama?_

_I want…I want to heal others._

_**I don't want to hurt anyone anymore. **_

_I wish that I could bring others to you._

_**I don't want to see any more blood on my hands. **_

_Thank you. Thank you so very much._

**_I don't want to be lonely anymore._**

Naruto opened his eyes and stepped out into the world.

He wasn't alone anymore.

* * *


	4. 03: He's not a ninja

* * *

**My God is your God**

* * *

Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto – totally. 

Main Characters: Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi

Summary: In which Kakashi gradually sees Naruto not as a manifestation of his dead best friend or a ghost of his self-sacrificing teacher, but a person he can respect and love.

Author's note: Many thanks to my friend… who has been bugging for me to update… that is, green blanket was bugging me… so, I forced to post this… super short chapter… I'll make the next chapter longer… promise 

Many thanks to everyone that reviewed, c2s, alerts, faved this fic or me…

* * *

**He's not a ninja**

* * *

It was, ironically enough; on a Saturday that he visited the Hokage. 

The leader of the ninjas had granted him audience immediately.

_Of course he would. He was after all, an old __acquaintance._

As he stepped into the office, he straightened his robes, knowing that attention would be drawn to them.

He had, in any case, deliberately chosen this set of robes.

_The robes of the master priest that spoke of power and Kami-__sama, which distanced himself from the masses like a gossamer butterfly dancing in the cloudless sky._

_And that put him on an equal platform of power with the leaders of the villages._

Dark, sharp eyes found his instantly. A tiny, mocking smile curled its way onto the priest's face as he tilted his head slightly and swept his left hand from his chest to the leader of the village, an old clan greeting to an individual not trusted. A sharp twinge of excitement shot its way down his spine, into his stomach and he crushed it with ruthless efficiency. This was a dance, a challenge from the world he had once been a part of which he still enjoyed. But to let it show was a misstep he would not make.

He would out-dance the Hokage – for Kami-sama.

Tilting of the head for doubt, left hand as the lack of morals and right side of the chest for lack of heart – or lack of trust in the heart.

_Let the dance begin. _

_-_

_-_

-

-

-

The Hokage watched keenly as the master priest swept into his office, golden thread winding through the white robes that were hemmed neatly with tiny, almost invisible bells. He caught and hid a chuckle that threatened to bubble out of his chest.

The robes… he is serious.

He had expected it. After all, he had directed Naruto to the healer of hearts. It was only customary that the healer paid a return visit, more than likely armed to the teeth with questions pertaining to Naruto – the sacrifice.

However, the smile hidden under his hat died when the priest greeted him.

_Still this dance?_

"Greetings, Kiyoshi-san." Standing up with the respect the robes demanded, he opted for the diplomatic reaction.

"May the blessings of the Lord fall upon you." Kiyoshi smiled, a slow, predatory expression that Sarutobi had to admire for the sheer weight of control behind.

"I am glad to see that you are still healthy and well." Sarutobi kept his voice steady and level. After all, to show any weakness was a folly.

"So am I. It would be terrible if you fell, from an ailment or from … other sources." The smile was still on his face, but it had turned mild, perhaps even a little too all knowing for the leader of the village's taste.

"Excuse my bluntness, but may I enquire to as what brought you here on such a fine day?" Sarutobi tugged his hat over his eyes, dragging a long breath of smoke from his pipe as he did so.

_Let the fumes of the smoke seep in and flood his senses, let him forget that he was a man that sent other men to their deaths daily. _

"You already know. I came for Naruto." Kiyoshi eyes were studious.

"True. What do you want to know about him?"

"You mistake my intentions. I came for him. Give him to Kami-sama." Kiyoshi smiled again, almost deviously.

"His father was a ninja. He will be a ninja." The Hokage's reply was sharp.

Deep inside, Kiyoshi laughed. Sarutobi was losing his sense of the beat. The dance was in his favour.

"Post Hoc – a fallacy of logic. The jinchuuriki wishes to be a priest – like me. He wishes to return to his creator and repent." Kiyoshi's eyes were sharp and bright.

_Cut down the branches of a tree and the tree will grow it back, steady and strong. Cut down the trunk and the tree may grow back, __resilient as ever._

"He is hurt by this village. You do not have the right to take care of him. After all, you can't even protect him from the villagers; much less give him the hope that one day he will be forgiven for the sins he has committed. He will hate this village." He paused to take a breath.

_But, tear away the roots, the basis of __an argument, and the tree will die. _

"When he is a ninja, he would be able to protect himself and learn to love this village." The Hokage was losing and he knew it.

"He will hate you if you take away his only chance for redemption."

Silence permeated the room, conveying the air of triumph as it engulfed defeat.

"Very well. You have won this round." Sarutobi let out a sigh.

The corners of Kiyoshi's mouth quirked up in what could only be described as a smirk and he nodded to the leader of the village as he turned and left.

"I wish that it didn't end up like this, Otouto." The Hokage's dark, dark eyes were still fixed onto Kiyoshi.

The priest stopped mid-stride and froze. Both of them knew that Sarutobi was not talking about Naruto.

He whipped around, a bitter, sardonic smile on his face. "You knew that this would happen when you strayed from your path, Aniki."

The Hokage looked so awfully tired at that moment. "I chose to be a ninja to protect my people. You followed your God. Both of us chose to protect people in different ways."

"You gave up Kami-sama when he has never forsaken you. He's still waiting for you to come back." Kiyoshi was no longer smiling, the expression in his eyes mirroring that of who the same blood flowed within.

"I had to, Otouto. After all, all ninjas are atheists."

-

-

-

-

-

"Ne, ne, Rin-chan! Guess what?"

A gust of wind swept the delicate white top of the dandelion, sending it into a gentle nod.

"I found someone today! Someone that promised to forgive me!"

"Kiyoshi-san said that he's our Great Lord – Kami-sama." Naruto was gesturing wildly.

"I won't be able to see him. Not now and not ever. But, if Kiyoshi-san told me that if I believe our Great Lord, he would forgive me for the s-s-ins, that means bad things I've done, I've c-committed."

Naruto clasped his fingers together, eyelids fluttering shut.

"I-I'm so happy, Rin-chan. I'm so glad I found someone like Kami-sama. I'm so happy tha-that I'm almost, I'm almost… afraid…"

-

-

-

-

-

Please Review. Thanks.

-

-

-


	5. 04: From me to you

**My God is your God**

**Chapter 4: From me to you – A year's correspondence**

_You've been writing to him again, haven't you?_

_

* * *

_

**Author's note: A series of letters/prayers/notes or whatever you wish to call them, sent over a period of a year, from 10th Oct, year 571 to 10th Oct, year 572. Enjoy...**

**And please review. Thanks

* * *

**

KH: 689

Year 571st of Konohagakure's rule

18th Day of the 10th Month, Year 571

Reign of the 3rd Hokage

To: The Order of the Council

**Removal of Uzumaki Naruto from local school**

With reference to the presence of one Uzumaki Naruto at Kihon local elementary, I propose that the above mentioned individual be removed from schooling at Kihon and be transferred to the care of His Holiness, Sarutobi Kiyoshi, head priest of Konohagakure.

This would allow Uzumaki Naruto to grow up away from others that he might inadvertently influence due to reasons that cannot be mentioned on paper as in accordance to the rule found in Document D45G, Section A47, Paragraph 39-5T – A-class and above mission details, secrets and documents are not to be communicated in any way, be it by paper, speech or gestures that are not secured and approved by both the reigning Hokage and his council. Any transgression of this rule would warrant the death penalty.

In addition, the shinobi of Konohagakure would be capable of monitoring Uzumaki Naruto with minimized external influences, allowing the verification of if he has evolved from a type A threat and be able to take action before anyone is injured seriously.

Furthermore, with minimal external influences affecting the growth of Uzumaki Naruto's mental state, the observance of the K's behaviour would go undisturbed. The results and data gained from observing a K that is unaffected by much outside influences, unlike Sunagakure's K, would be beneficial to not only Konohagakure as a whole, but would revolutionize the world, bringing attention and power to Konohagakure.

With this information at hand, Konohagakure would certainly flourish.

Yours,

Kage of Konohagakure, the Hokage

His Honour, Sandaime

Sarutobi Kenji

"K" requires access key A24GY6 to view

* * *

KC: 768

Year 571st of Konohagakure's rule

20th Day of the 10th Month

Reign of the 3rd Hokage

To: His Honour, Kage of Konohagakure, Sandaime

**Proposal Approved**

The Order of the Council approves of the proposal sent on the 5th Day of the 3rd Month, letter number KH: 689, regarding the transfer of one Uzumaki Naruto from Kihon Elementary to the care of His Holiness, Sarutobi Kiyoshi.

We implore the reigning leader of Konohagakure to make the necessary changes as soon as possible, subsequently lowering the possibility that Uzumaki Naruto might affect the citizens of Konohagakure negatively.

Yours truly,

The Order of the Council of Konohagakure

27th Day of the 10th Month, Year 571

* * *

Dear Jiraiya,

I hope that the Council suffocates in their futon. It is atrocious how they take months – note that: months! (5 months, 7 days and 15 hours to be exact…) just to authorize Minato's child to attend basic school (not even the Shinobi Academy!) But when I proposed pulling Naruto out of school, they approved in just 2 days!

The thought of this makes me boil in slow anger. Remind me again, Jiraiya, why did I take up this post? Why do I write things I don't believe in? Why do I send men to their deaths?

…

I am sorry, Jiraiya, I was rambling again. Excuse your old, senile sensei, won't you?

You must be enjoying yourself now. The last I heard, you were in Water country. I remember that there are beautiful waterfalls there that are on par with those in Waterfall country… how I wish that Minato didn't die and leave me with this job…

But I have no choice, do I? This is my country and this is my village. These are the people that I will protect and love no matter what, as Hokage, as shinobi, as man, till my very last breath.

_Till my very last breath…_

You know, Jiraiya, sometimes I long that… that I was not the Hokage. I know that it is selfish. To have the strength to protect and defend and make the right choices, but yet to use it for your own self is wrong, utterly against the ideals of a Konoha Shinobi.

But I'm tired, Jiraiya, so very tired…

You must think that your sensei's going crazy, eh? Perhaps I am, perhaps not.

Perhaps it is better going crazy… After all, the alternative is too appalling to think about…

I miss all of you so very much, you know? I miss the days where it was just our team - you, Tsunade, me and… and… Orochimaru….

You're right; I must be getting old… old and daft and sentimental…

After all, how can I, the Hokage, protector of Konoha, the one who has to love everyone, detest its inhabitants…?

And… and it's _his_ birthday, isn't it?

Your sensei,

Sarutobi Kenji

* * *

27th Day of the 10th Month, Year 571

Orochimaru,

You're an utter bastard. A freaking utter bastard.

I bet you're bloody staring at this letter wondering why, huh? Just like your pompous ass not to notice…

You've always been a fucking ass…

Anyway, Tsunade and me and freaking sensei are fine, no thanks to you dumb-ass. Tsunade's still the worst freaking gambler in the world and yours truly is a famous author of the well-known and well- loved Icha-Icha Paradise series – not that you won't know this… but this so bloody proves that I'm more famous than you and rubbing salt into your freaking wounds is so much bloody fun.

Just wait till you come back – I'm gonna pound you and your pansy-ass hair into the freaking ground.

Sucker.

Jiraiya

* * *

11th Day of the 11th Month, Year 571

Jiraiya,

You've been writing to him again, haven't you?

The courtier nin that you used told me that you sent him off on a wild goose chase – do you know how MUCH he complained to me about how difficult it was to find a bloody missing nin because YOU were missing again, making him come COMPLAINING to me, you PERVERTIC IDIOT? – all to send a letter (a letter! Of all things a letter?) to Orochimaru of all people.

Anyway, let me tell you this – YOU'RE SUCH A STUBBORN FOOL! You miss him, this I know, although you'll probably die before you admit that and you've made a promise to me that you'll get him back, but Jiraiya, we aren't 16 and part of team Kenji anymore.

_All that are left of Team Kenji now are broken civilians under the guise of ninjas. And 16? 16 is a long time ago…_

If that didn't get through your thick skull, let me rephrase it – he's not coming back. He's never coming back. He's different now, he's changed. He's not the Orochimaru we knew.

Let his memory go, Jiraiya – that person that you're chasing is gone… gone with the wind…

And never to return.

Tsunade

* * *

15th Day of the 11th Month, Year 571

Sensei,

Sandaime assigned me a new mission – writing reports to you.

I hope you and Obito and Rin are okay.

Tell Rin that I used the medical pouch she gave me.

Kakashi

* * *

29th Day of the 11th Month, Year 571

Fuck you, Princess. You have no freaking right to barge into my business and whatever freaking privacy I have left. Stay outta my bloody business.

Jiraiya

* * *

1st Day of the 12th Month, Year 571

Sandaime,

Since you wanted to know, Naruto is doing fine. Do not come and look for him or me.

Sarutobi Kiyoshi, head priest of Konohagakure

* * *

16th Day of the 1st Month, Year 572

Dear Jiraiya,

Won't you come home? Your nephew tries not to show it, but he needs some form of parental guidance and you're the only family he has left.

…

I know that you dislike staying in Konoha, but what about him? He needs you. It's been six years since Minato died and many more since his two team mates. He still hasn't gotten over them.

I told him to try and write his emotions down, as letters to anyone he would write to. He wouldn't listen till I told him it was a mission. Even then, he was exceedingly averse to it.

Come back, Jiraiya…

Perhaps he would listen to you.

Your sensei,

Sarutobi Kenji

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

This is Naruto. Remember? Kyuubi the nine-tailed fox?

I'm glad.

Hokage-sama… no… Hokage-san told me I could learn here, from Kiyoshi-san, instead of at that school…

Umm… Kiyoshi-san was the one who said that I shouldn't call anyone with the title of Sama except you…

_Except you…_

'Cause you're Kami-sama.

And that's more than enough reason…

I'm really, really happy, you know. Kiyoshi-san said that I could learn to be a priest. He called it an appre…appre…apprenticeship, I think.

I still have'ta go home after learning by myself, but that's okay, 'cause Rin-chan's waiting for me at home.

And you're with me.

But sometimes, Kami-sama, I'm still scared. I'm… I'm… I'm scared 'cause… 'cause I'm so … happy…

Is that okay?

Is it okay for me to be so happy?

'Cause, I'm Kyuubi. And demons like me aren't supposed to be happy, are we?

'Cause when I'm happy, other people are sad…

And… and… I don't wanna make anyone sad anymore…

* * *

25th Day of the 1st Month, Year 572

Sensei,

I saw you today. Then it wasn't you.

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry… I still can't…

Can't… forgive…

Or forget…

Kakashi

* * *

8th Day of the 2nd Month, Year 572

Dear Kenji-sensei,

I'm sorry. I'm not going back.

Yours,

Jiraiya

* * *

8th Day of the 2nd Month, Year 572

Dear Kenji-sensei,

It's been another year, hasn't it?

Your student,

Tsunade

* * *

10th Day of the 2nd Month, Year 572

Sensei,

Today, I killed 7 people.

I also learnt a new swear word in Chinese. One of the Suna Marks spat it out at me as he choked on his blood.

I might have got the pronunciation wrong. His words were rather garbled.

And he killed one of my team mates. I couldn't save him again.

It hurts.

Kakashi

(Mark: a term ninjas used for their prey/victim… when they kill them)

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

Kiyoshi-san said that I didn't need to tell you my name every time I pray, 'cause you'll know who I am.

I'm really, really happy 'bout that!

Why?

Umm… that's 'cause you remember me… and… it's really nice of you to do that…

But, but, I still wanna tell you who I am, 'cause Kiyoshi-san said that it was only polite to introduce yourself when in a… a… con…con…conversation!

Kiyoshi-san's been giving me lessons! He calls it eti…eti…etiquette lessons. Next week, if I try to be a good fox, he says he'll even show me how to read!

It's really nice of Kiyoshi-san to do that, 'cause I know I'm a demon…

The sensei in school knew that and didn't teach me alone.

But that's okay 'cause it's as it should be…

Umm… so, well, 'cause it's polite,

I'm Uzumaki Naruto!

Nice to meet you and I hope that you'll have a wonderful day!

* * *

15th Day of the 3rd Month, Year 572

Sensei,

Your sensei came to see me today. I had just arrived home from a mission.

We had tea together. He looked away when I took off my mask to drink.

Then, before he left, he told me not to tell Sandaime that he had been here.

I think he hates me.

Kakashi

* * *

20th Day of the 3rd Month, Year 572

Tsunade,

Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit.

I went back to Konoha the other day. Yeah, I know. After I told Kenji-sensei that I wouldn't go back.

I went to see Kakashi.

He looked like utter shit.

You'll probably bash my head in for swearing so much, but Kakashi really looked fucked up.

_Like his old man._

I know he just fucking came back from a bloody (both literally and figuratively) mission, but he really, really looked like freaking hell.

He was lying on the couch, and was fucking covered with blood, more blood and fucking entrails.

(I came through the stupid front door, so don't you say I didn't knock. The door was unlocked anyway.)

I mean, I just walked in, and he was staring at me, not even reacting, like fucking waiting for his own death.

And… and… Tsunade, he looked… he looked just like my brother before he shitted and killed himself.

_I think I'm going fucking crazy. _

Anyway, he picked himself off the freaking couch and went to pour tea (fucking tea! I tell you, fucking tea!) for the both of us like nothing in the bloody world was wrong!

We sat down and drank the bloody tea together like this was just a bleeding normal thing!

And Tsunade, oh my God, he looked so much like fucking-him. He's looking more and more like his blasted old man every time we meet!

I couldn't look at him, Tsunade. I really, fucking, bloody couldn't look at him.

God damn it… I couldn't even say anything 'bout his blasted right hand that was dangling, I tell you, bloody dangling off one of his fucking tendons. I could even see his freaking bone.

Heck! I couldn't say a freaking word to him, except to tell him not to tell Kenji-sensei that I was back in blasted Konoha…

He didn't say a shitting word. Not a shitting word.

Fuck it, Tsunade. I must be going freaking crazy. I can't think of any-blasted-thing but him and my brother and Gods, how he looks like Sakumo…

_Sakumo that I couldn't save… my bloody, freaking, perfect-ass brother…_

I can't face him, Tsunade… I can't face both of them…

Your team mate,

Jiraiya

* * *

7th Day of the 4th Month, Year 572

Jiraiya,

We're all haunted by our ghosts.

Your team mate,

Tsunade

P.S. AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY TELLING ME TO FUCK OFF FROM YOUR BUSINESS, YOU IGNORAMUS TWIT? Don't you DARE come to me begging for a hangover cure now!

* * *

29th Day of the 4th Month, Year 572

Kenji-sensei,

There are rumours of Orochimaru… He is in Grass currently.

Yours,

Jiraiya

* * *

31st Day of the 5th Month, Year 572

Jiraiya,

Are you sure? Is it really true?

Don't look for him Jiraiya…

You'll just end up hurt again.

Your sensei,

Sarutobi Kenji

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

Kiyoshi-san told me a story today.

I love story time, 'cause there's so many new things to learn, to see, to feel!

It's like… it's like… a whole new world!

I can't read very well yet - the words go sorta blurry and sometimes I can't remember what the words mean even though I try so hard till my head hurts - so I can't read the stories by myself… but that's okay, 'cause I'm working hard so that I can read **your** stories…

(Kiyoshi-san calls them scriptures… he says that they're stories 'bout you!)

I can't wait till I can read those!

Umm… anyway, today's story is called "His Name"

I think… I think it goes like this…

Once upon a time, there was a really, really peaceful village. They were sorta like Konohagakure – rich and peaceful, but different as they weren't a shinobi village but a place deep in the mountains where people could come and talk 'bout Kami-sama. It was a really nice place to live in!

The people there were nice people too. There were no demons and killing, no violence and deaths. Only a whole lotta Kami-sama-loving people!

Everyone liked to go there, 'cause sometimes, although they tried very hard to spread their kno…kno…knowledge of Kami-sama without forcing their ideals on anyone, and were really nice people, some other people were really mean and they were really tired…

So, one day, a group of priests came to rest in the village.

They were like any other priests – Kami-sama-loving people.

The only difference was that they were from a far-away land and spoke a different language as their first language – English.

In their language, Kami-sama was called God. But it happened that God was a name for another different Kami-sama that was called, well, God.

The group of priest from the faraway land came and tried to discuss Kami-sama with the rest of the priest there. But the priests living in the village thought that the faraway-land-priests were poking fun at Kami-sama 'cause they were using a different name that was the name of another different Kami-sama.

They were really, really angry and spoke bad words towards the faraway-land-priests.

This made the faraway-land-priests angry too.

In the end, both groups forgot what Kami-sama would have really wanted and started fighting.

There was death and violence, hate and blood. Everyone… was so angry… so scared… and so sad…

The children tried telling the adults that it was okay, that there was no need to fight… but no one listened and the war still burned the sky, tearing down the foundations of the mountains.

And the day the children became killers, the peaceful little village perished.

Umm… well… this story… is rather sad, right? When Kiyoshi-san finished the story… I was… I was… rather sad too…

But… there was something I thought of too…

Does it really matter what we call you?

Would you answer to Kami-sama but not God, My Lord but not _Shen_?

Would you be mad?

I know… I know that you're Kami-sama and we ought'ta have utter respect for you, but… would you really be angry like the priests in the story?

'Cause, won't you then be angry at all those nice priests from that faraway-land, 'cause they only know you as "God" as that's the word for it in the only language they know?

…

I told Kiyoshi-san all that. He told me that I was right and that was the mo…moral of the story!

I'm so glad that you won't be mad 'cause of a different name…

* * *

23rd Day of the 8th Month, Year 572

Dear Tsunade,

I nearly forgot, Belated happy birthday. A toast to you, for lasting another year.

Let's hope I'll be just as freaking lucky.

Your team mate,

Jiraiya

P.S. And whaddya mean you're not sending me any of that freaking hangover cure, Princess.

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

Rin-chan's having babies!

You know her pretty white hair? When it dropped off, I was kinda worried, 'cause, I thought Rin-chan was sick!

I'm so glad she isn't sick, Kami-sama…

Un, anyway, there's little green stuff growing at her feet now, Umm… that's right, Kiyoshi-san called them shoots!

They're her babies! And you know, they're so cute and pretty!

Not that Rin-chan isn't pretty. Rin-chan is the prettiest plant in the whole wide world!

But I'm really, really so glad that Rin-chan won't be lonely 'cause she only had me and you and no one else before.

And… and… I'm not someone nice to hang around with…

But that's okay now, 'cause Rin-chan has her children!

Oh! And we need to think of names before Rin-chan's children grow up too fast! There's so many of them!

Do you think that Mayuri-chan is a good name?

* * *

15th Day of the 9th Month, Year 572

Dear Jiraiya,

Today is your nephew's birthday. I gave him the day off for once and he spent it in front of the memorial…

He still needs someone, a person from the past to be there for him.

Please, come back.

Your sensei,

Sarutobi Kenji

* * *

15th Day of the 9th Month, Year 572

Obito,

Please, don't cry anymore…

Gods, your eye is spinning and spinning and crying red and why won't it stop?

Why won't you stop?

What is it that you see and I can't?

Kakashi

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

Rin-chan died today. Is she up there with you?

I'm sure she is.

After all, she's such a nice person!

She must be happy up there with you…

_In paradise… for eternity…_

Would you pass on a message to Rin-chan for me?

Please tell her "Be happy up there, Rin-chan. I won't see you again… but that's okay, 'cause I'm sure there's lots of friends and family up there with you. Don't worry; I'll take care of your children. And… and… please… please forget 'bout me…"

I told Kiyoshi-san that Rin-chan died. He told me "This is how people feel when they lose their loved ones. Remember this feeling, etch it into your soul, burn it into your heart… and… and understand, understand their sadness…"

Then, he asked me to write him a little something on what I learnt, a reflection, homework, he called it.

Would you like to hear it?

"Today, I understood that all life is 'portant. I've heard of it before, when someone spoke of it, but it never really struck me, never really branded itself onto my heart. I never really did gain full understanding… till today.

It really hurts, you know? More than knowing that you've taken lives, more than knowing that that you've hurt others, more than knowing that you've torn families apart.

Is that why some people chose to be a shinobi? Even knowing that once they step onto that path, they can never turn back? Even knowing that their hands would be stained in blood? Even knowing that they'll have to sacrifice everything?

Maybe, maybe, all they want, is for that individual they love to stay with them… right?

Perhaps someone's life may seem insignificant. But, but, no matter how small, how insignificant that life is… there's always someone who'll feel hurt at their death, isn't that so?

And that person will cry and cry and… and… feel hurt."

I cried too.

Is that right?

'Cause, I have you and you're Kami-sama and that's supposed to be enough for someone like me, right?

I… I… feel so lost…

* * *

29th Day of the 9th Month, Year 572

Tsunade,

Fuck it.

Kenji-sensei asked me to go back to freaking Konoha again.

Come back for Kakashi, he fucking says.

He still doesn't bloody know that I can't do any-freaking-thing… except watch him kill himself… slowly…

I wish that the bloody Kyuubi took me too…

Yours,

Jiraiya, desperately in need of a bloody hangover cure thanks to Kenji-sensei's letter.

* * *

2nd Day of the 10th Month, Year 572

Dear Jiraiya,

Don't you dare, you promised Sakumo that you'll live.

If not, you promised me… you promised me…

Me… and Orochimaru…

Tsunade

P.S. No hangover cure means no hangover cure, you stupid pig. If the hangover cure is so 'freaking' and 'bloody' then don't ask for it!

* * *

10th Day of the 10th Month, Year 572

Fuck off and go back to where you freaking belong, Kyuubi – Hell! You deserve to burn and suffer for eternity for all the pain you caused! No one, not even Kami-sama would want you, much less forgive you! So just die and leave us to live the rest of our lives in peace!

* * *

10th Day of the 10th Month, Year 572

Dear Jiraiya,

Did I ever mention to you how much I feel like setting my summons upon Konohagakure?

The shinobi are strong and will certain beat them back in no time - which is good, for the survival of this village depend plenty on the strength of her ninja.

But that's not the point.

The point is that I hate them and love them and I'm tired… so very tired of feeling all of this.

They hurt him, you know?

Kiyoshi kept Naruto in with him for the most of his birthday - today.

And then the ninja squad I sent to follow Naruto around on his birthday trailed him home and left him when he reached his front door without any mishap.

Nothing happened - until I decided to check on Naruto with my crystal ball.

There was a message pinned to his front door – with a kunai and a dead fox.

Understand, please understand that I tried to stop Naruto from opening that letter, Jiraiya, please…

When I reached him, he was already reading the letter.

Basically, what the letter said was to tell him to die and go to hell in not so nice words.

Oh Gods, Jiraiya, when I reached him, Naruto just looked up and smiled so sweetly, like nobody just sent him such a horrendous letter, like someone gave him all the presents in the world.

It hurt so much then, Jiraiya, it really hurt…

And Jiraiya, at that moment, I… I… I almost thought that I was looking at Minato again, that day, seven years ago, today… his blue, so strikingly blue eyes boring into me from his face, accusing me of everything that I should have done and didn't.

Oh my God, you know… all I could do was just stare at him… I couldn't say anything, not at all… not at all… there… there was nothing to be said…

And then, and then, he just said that it was okay, that it was perfectly fine… because **"**it's the truth and only the truth that they speak and that's good isn't it? 'Cause that means that you have honest people living in Konoha!**" **

What could I have said?

What could I have done?

Guilt seems to enjoy following me at every turn of life Jiraiya, for I do not think that I can get a good night's rest after that today…

You know, the strange thing was that… the letter was damp at places…

And it didn't rain. Not at all.

Your sensei,

Sarutobi Kenji

* * *

Dear Kami-sama,

Today's my birthday!

Kiyoshi-san was so nice today… he smiled at me once… but his eyes seemed sad… so sad…

I think I know why - 'cause it's my birthday… the day demons melded with this fragile world.

It's not a happy birthday… 'cause no one is happy.

But you know I wish, for once, that someone, anyone… just one would be glad, just a little glad… that I joined this world.

Un-happy birthday to me then.

…

You know, they came today, after Hokage-san left. I knew that they were coming. They always do. It hurt, but that was okay.

That was okay…

They were, after all, gri…grieving in their own way. If they hurt me and they feel better, then I don't mind.

Not at all.

Hokage-san seemed a little sad though, when he came, cloak flying and mantle clutched tightly.

I wonder why. Do you think it is because of the death of the fox they pinned on the door?

…

Umm… 'bout the fox…

Can you tell him that I'm sorry? 'cause I just took away another 'nocent life… his life… I… I hope that he's happier up there with you… I didn't mean to take him away from his family or separate his family from him… but pur…purposefully or not, it's all my fault… Gomen ne…

Gomen ne…

* * *

For those people that haven't caught the different relationship between the characters, here is a little guide for what I have revealed so far.

**Naruto's father** is **Minato**, the fourth Hokage (dead). Thankfully or not, he still doesn't know.

**Minato** is **Kakashi**,**Obito** (dead) and **Rin's** (dead. Naruto's Rin-chan is a dandelion, people; please note the difference) **sensei**.

**Minato** is also **Jiraiya's student**.

**Jiraiya** is **Kakashi's uncle**. That is, **Kakashi's father**, **Sakumo**, the White Fang of Konoha is **Jiraiya's younger brother**. (Surprise, surprise!)

**Jiraiya, Tsunade **and** Orochimaru** are the students of Sandaime**, Sarutobi Kenji**.

**Sarutobi Kenji** has a **younger brother** named**Sarutobi Kiyoshi** who is incidentally, the high priest of Konohagakure, **Naruto's current "sensei".**

Naruto will be 7 years old in year 572, 10th day of the 10th month – he is basically 7 in the last prayer and letter from Kenji to Jiraiya.

**Reviews please! It would be nice to know what you like/dislike about this; whether I should continue or not; area for improvement; etc…**


End file.
